Some people sing in the shower. I dance. Okay both.
Last night “Love the Way You Lie” by Eminem and Rihanna came on the radio, and I was bobbin my head
rappin’ along with Slim Shady, putting shaving cream on my legs (multi-tasking
at its best). I put my right foot up against the back wall of the shower (ya
know, so I can shave under my legs and thighs). Then the chorus begins, and I
really get into it—my arms are comin’ up and I’m belting, “Just gonna stand
there and watch me burn!” That’s when it happens. My one grounded foot slips on
some residual conditioner (well, let’s be real, in our shower it could be
anything), and it shoots back to the opposite end of the shower as my other
foot slides down the wall. And without much warning, I am doing the splits
in the shower. And Rihanna pipes in, “That’s alright because I like the way it
hurts”. I beg to differ, Rih Rih, this is extremely uncomfortable. And as I sat there doing the splits in our
moldy shower with one half-shaved leg and the shower head perfectly aimed at my
butt cheeks, all I could do was laugh. Not even just a dainty chuckle, a full
on walrus laugh.
When I die, I’m gonna show everyone the Heavencam video of
this, except I’ll be wearing a swimsuit because you can do that kind of thing
in heaven.
What I feel like in the shower...
What I probably look like...
